


Reminders

by YvaJ



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-03
Updated: 2014-04-03
Packaged: 2018-01-18 00:53:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1408939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YvaJ/pseuds/YvaJ
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Visiting Victorian England reminds Peri that up till now her life has been far from perfect.  The Sixth Doctor must not only contend with his companion's memory issues but also come to the rescue of a young pickpocket.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reminders

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first Doctor Who story that I have written to completion. Although there are some references to historical events with mild violence, there is nothing here of a graphic nature. I hope you enjoy it. Thanks to two of my friends (you know who you are) for betaing this.

London looked differently than she remembered, but stepping outside of the TARDIS, Perpuguilliam Brown could see the distinctions between what was familiar and what was reality. Gone were the modern day buildings that lined the streets, and in their place were dirty roads as well as run down buildings, street vendors, and artisans.

She turned back around to see the Doctor coming outside as well, his tall frame filling the doorway and his garish coat literally adding a new dimension of color to the entire, otherwise grey, area. “Here we are,” he said with flourish. “London, England, nineteen hundred and eighty-six.”

“Uh Doctor, I don’t think this is nineteen hundred and anything,” she said as a little boy ran past them. He was dressed in a grey colored frock coat and hat, his dark brown pants carried patches on the knees and his face was covered with mud.

The Doctor closed the door and looked around the area. “Well, Peri, we can’t all be perfect, now. Can we?”

“Least of all you,” Peri said smugly as the Doctor stopped suddenly and turned around, his back now facing the blue colored police box.

“Well, that’s the last time I take you out for scones and tea,” the Doctor muttered as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“Oh come on Doctor, you have to admit that we are not in the 1980’s. Just look at how everyone’s dressed,” Peri said as she looked down at her own mode of dress. She was glad that she had opted for a more conservative pair of pants and v-neck t-shirt, but she wondered if the Doctor would cause a riot in his brightly colored garb.

“It’s a bit too late for us to complain,” he said. “Let’s just have a look around.”

The young woman wordlessly agreed as they started to make their way down a side street and reached a busy looking intersection. The longer they remained, the more the Doctor’s normally cheerful expression darkened into an unreadable frown.

“What’s the matter?” Peri asked after several moments had passed and she took note of the fact that his manner had shifted drastically since leaving the TARDIS.

“Children here are stealing and begging for handouts,” he groused. As if to elaborate his point, he pointed down the street to where a man in a dark brown coat was standing. A cane was casually in his hand and he appeared to be waiting for a stagecoach. From behind him, both Peri and the Doctor watched as a young girl stepped out of the shadows and in broad daylight managed to extract a gold watch from his pocket.

Just as the man had turned around, she started to back away, but not before he reached out and grabbed her arm. The sounds of the girl’s cries quickly shattered the stillness of the area as several heads turned as she tried to break into a run in order to get away.

“You little waif,” the man’s otherwise indifferent expression shifted and he snarled angrily at the child. The cane that he had been carrying and had rested idly in his hand was now raised and suddenly being used as a weapon. “How dare you steal from me!”

The girl cowered away from him, but before the man could so much as strike her with the object, Peri was brought crashing back down to earth and had placed herself between the cane and the child. When the cane smacked against her left shoulder, she could feel the pain-filled tears catching in her brown eyes.

“You can’t hit her, Mister,” she managed to speak amidst the tears that were streaming recklessly down her face. Just before being hit a second time, Peri’s adrenaline had reached its peak and she had grabbed hold of the cane. “What sort of person are you? She’s just a little girl.”

The man violently pushed her away. “You’re in league with her, aren’t you? You vagabonds are all over this city.”

“I never met her a day in my life,” Peri objected. “I just can’t stand idly by and watch a child get beat up by someone who is old enough to be her father.”

Instead of responding to her words, the man watched as the girl recovered from her shock and ran away.

“Well then, you got what you wanted, you misfit, she got away. If I don’t get my watch back, I’ll be after you and give you a flogging to an inch of your life,” he snapped as he took off after the younger girl.

Peri tried to brush off what the man had said, but she was trembling by the time the Doctor had reached her side and was offered his hand to her. “Are you all right?”

“I think so,” she whispered as she looked into his eyes and noticed the worry that was evident there. She accepted his hand and let him help her off the ground. Once she was on her feet, he moved his hand to her shoulder to offer it a gentle squeeze. What he did not expect was for her to flinch in pain from beneath his touch. “Not so hard, that hurts.”

“What did you expect?” He asked; his voice suddenly laced in annoyance. When she did not respond to his harsh inquiry, he continued to scold her mercilessly. “That was a foolish and dangerous thing for you to do.”

Peri raised her head and looked at him, but rather than arguing, she said nothing. Instead, she closed her eyes and allowed the tears to stream from beneath them. In the back of her mind, she knew that he was right, that she had put herself at a greater risk in coming to the child’s defense, but what he did not know was that she had a reason for doing so.

The issue of abuse was something that Peri knew and understood well. It was for that reason she promised herself that she would help other victims in dealing with the consequences of dysfunctional and violent behavior. She hated the feelings of vulnerability and defenselessness that emerged in her day to day existence and often she would cop an attitude in order to counter them.

Today, she was even more determined to help other victims avoid the feelings of worthlessness that she often faced. Her resolve was so immense that she would risk physical or verbal assaults in order to keep the promises that she had made to her former self.

Remembering the coldness and hostility that she had seen in the Doctor’s gaze left her feeling vulnerable all over again. This affirmed to her that she would never be able to confide these feelings in him.

Perhaps she could have told his previous incarnation, but most definitely not this one.

The Doctor took a deep breath when he realized that she would not say a word to defend herself. _This is so unlike Peri,_ he thought sadly as he rested his hand on the top of her head. “Why did you get involved?” He asked; his voice now much softer than it had been only moments before. “That man could have killed you.”

“I had to,” she whispered, but looked down at the ground. “There was a reason, Doctor, but I don’t expect you to understand.”

“What do you mean?”

“Just forget it, I’m sorry I made you worry,” she whispered and after another beat, she continued. “Maybe I should just go back to the TARDIS and lie down.”

The Doctor nodded. “I suppose that would be the best option,” he said. “You were right about the time period, we must have landed in London, but this is the late 1800’s. Tragically, many children were violently abused during that time.”

“It wasn’t just during those times that it happened,” Peri mused.

“What was that?” He asked.

“Forget it,” she muttered, but allowed him to help lead her back down the street. She did not feel at all like talking. Instead, she merely let her gaze wander lackadaisically as they made their way back in the direction of the TARDIS.

Seconds later, a piercing scream filled the air. “What’s happening now?” She whispered under her breath. The sounds that had emerged seemed more like a child’s scream than anything else.

At that moment, Peri knew that getting involved in another incident that resulted in time-based culture shock was the last thing she wanted or needed. She had already upset the Doctor once. Now, instead of simply hanging around, she wanted nothing more than to return to the familiar comfort of her room and nurse the bruises that she had sustained the last time she had gotten involved in someone else’s problems.

As another scream pierced the air, she suddenly felt the Doctor now tugging on her hand and starting to lead her back in the opposite direction. “Come on Peri,” his words emerged when he sensed her hesitation.

She started to reluctantly follow him when her arm became taut and she was forced to run alongside him.

As they rounded the next corner, the Doctor stopped when he felt the breath literally being forced from him. Looking down, he realized why that was the case. Standing before him was a young girl, the very same that he had witnessed stealing the man’s gold watch out on the main thoroughfare. She had been running, but instead of watching where she was going, she had plowed straight into him.

Instead of backing away and dodging her way past him, she stopped and stared up at him. The Doctor’s face showed a depiction of surprise but he reached down and placed his hands on the girl’s shoulders and stared down at her, now trembling, form.

By the time she had reached them, Peri watched and concluded that the Doctor’s lack of fashion sense probably had something to do with the girl’s overwhelming sense of wonderment. She felt a slight smile tugging at her lips when the girl threw her arms around him and buried her face against his stomach.

The Doctor raised his head momentarily. When his gaze locked on his companion, Peri stopped everything she was doing and merely stared. It was overtly clear that neither she nor the Doctor knew what to do next.

Moments passed and the young woman suddenly heard the approaching footfalls of another person and she turned around to see that the same man that she had stopped from beating the girl had now approached and was looking at the three of them through sadistic green eyes.

“All right you little brat,” he sneered. Peri turned around to see that instead of holding a cane, the man now held a piece of wood that resembled a broomstick. He was looming menacingly as he walked towards where she was holding tightly to the Doctor.

What the man did not expect was for the Time Lord to raise his head and catch a glimpse of him before wrapping a protective arm around the child’s body. The man, seeing this, looked at the Doctor through angry eyes. “You and that other girl are helping her.”

“I’m helping no one, but I see no point to beating a child senseless for the sake of some material possession.”

“The watch she took belonged to my father,” the man said hotly.

“The ends do not justify the means,” the Doctor responded. “You beat her with that and you could easily be guilty of murder. Would your father wish that of you?”

“My father raised me to be a man.”

“Perhaps, but is a man defined by how much harm he is capable of bringing to a young girl?” The Doctor asked evenly. “You have already defined yourself as an abuser when you brought harm to my friend.”

As he was speaking, he spotted the outline of the gold watch in the pocket of the girl’s dress and casually reached inside and extracted it. Once he held it in his hand, he spoke, his voice laced with his own brand of attitude. “I will give this back to you on one condition and that is you leave this child in peace.”

“I’d prefer to break her into pieces,” the man grunted.

“Of that I’m aware, but that is not my condition,” the Doctor said firmly.

“And what if she does it again?” The man demanded.

“That does not concern me,” the Doctor said as he tossed the watch to the man and watched as he deftly caught it. “Now, leave us, I’ll make certain this child understands these conditions.”

“You?” The man snorted. “You look like you escaped from the circus.”

Peri smiled slightly at the man’s comparison, but that abruptly disappeared when she watched the girl start to struggle her way out of the Doctor’s hold.

In response to this, the Doctor merely tightened his hold. “Try to stay calm, young lady,” he said sternly. “I’m trying to help keep you out of trouble.”

This did little to help matters; the child kicked her way out of his hold, leaving a crushing blow to his shin. This caused the Doctor to briefly relinquish his hold, and the girl started to back away from them.

Instead of getting away, she came closer to where Peri was standing and suddenly felt the Doctor’s companion grabbing her arm and holding tightly to it while the Doctor recovered. Once he had managed this, he went over and stood next to Peri, his own hand grabbing the girl’s other arm.

“Let go of me,” the girl cried out as she tried to pull herself away from them. Instead of heeding her demands, the Doctor looked down at her. When the girl saw the frustration that was evident in his glare, she instantly grew silent.

“Maybe you and your friend should reconsider. The only thing that might help that brat is a good thrashing.” The man looked meaningfully at the Doctor and started to hit the broomstick against the back side of his boot.

“No it won’t,” Peri snapped as the girl raised her head and looked at her. “It will only make her as violent as you are.” She paused as she gunned up every last bit of courage that she possessed and continued speaking. “Why don’t you just go away? You got your watch back, and the only thing that beating her up would do is demonstrate that you’re nothing but a monster that beats up children.”

The man grunted, but started to back away from them. When he finally disappeared in the distance, Peri looked up at the Doctor. “Are you okay?”

The Doctor nodded. “Yes, of course. But, I think it would be wise for all of us to get out of the area.”

Agreeing, Peri looked down at the little girl. “What should we do about her?”

“Let her go,” the Doctor said bluntly. “We shouldn’t have gotten involved.”

“We can’t just leave her here like this,” Peri said. “There’s no telling what would happen once we do leave. I mean; it is rather apparent that she has more enemies around here than friends.”

The Doctor looked crossly at the girl and spoke, his words still laced in matter-of-fact undertones. “It would seem to me that you now have an advocate.”

Peri shrugged her shoulders as she looked down at the girl. Both she and the Doctor had released their hold, and were surprised that she had not run away. Instead, the girl remained silent and simply waited.

“What’s your name?” The Doctor asked.

“Stacy,” the child whispered.

“I’m the Doctor, and this is Peri,” the Doctor made hasty introductions as he started to lead them out of the shadows and back in the direction of the main street. “Come; let’s get out of the area before that man comes back.”

“Do you think he will?” Peri asked.

“Yes, it is my experience that men like him are always on the search for a bit of back-up,” the Doctor said. “Leaving the area will be the best insurance that Stacy will be safe from harm.”

Stacy looked up at him as the realization hit that the Doctor’s intentions were to provide protection. “I’m sorry I kicked you,” she eventually said, her voice filled with shame.

Instead of responding to her words, the Doctor merely nodded.

The three of them continued along the road until they reached an open area. The Doctor noticed that Peri was not looking to terribly well, her footsteps seemed to be staggering about, and she kept pressing one of her hands against her forehead. _This was not good,_ he thought as they rounded a corner and he could see the TARDIS in the distance.

“We’re almost there,” he said as he rested a gentle hand on Peri’s shoulder.

“Yeah,” Peri whispered. “Lucky us.”

Before they could reach the door leading into the police box, a voice suddenly filled the area and Peri turned around and gasped as she inched her way towards the Doctor and unconsciously grasped the sleeve of his coat.

“There you are,” the angry sounding voice said.

Stacy screamed as she tried to back away from where the voice had originated. Her eyes were now wide with panic.

This indicated to the Doctor that the confrontation was not about anything that he or Peri had done, but about the situation that was facing the girl who was presently in their company. Instinctively, the Time Lord placed a protective hand on one of her shoulders as he turned around to see a tall, stocky looking man approaching.

Next to the man’s left foot, a rather large and quite vicious looking dog was standing.

Peri was almost instantly reminded of cruel and inhumane character of Bill Sikes from the book _Oliver Twist_. When the man spoke again, the young woman immediately considered the notion that Dickens’ character may have stepped from the pages of the book and was now right before them.

“Caught pick-pocketing again?” He asked as he came closer to Stacy. As he approached, he began to wrap a leather rope between his fingers. To both Peri and the Doctor, it appeared as though he was making a whip, which would have done far more damage to a victim than a cane or broom handle would have.

Peri took a deep breath as she watched the man getting closer, but any words she might have spoken were abruptly swallowed up in fear.

The Doctor looked at his companion and wondered if she was more terrified of this man or the Master during their earlier confrontations. His concerns were magnified by two when he looked at Stacy and saw absolute fright in her eyes.

“Something tells me that you don’t care that children are stealing, you simply cannot condone them getting caught doing so,” he remarked. It was clear that of the three of them, the Doctor was the only one who was showing absolutely no signs of fear.

“M-Mr. Greenlee,” the child stammered as she backed further against the Doctor.

“Who are you?” The Doctor asked.

“He’s my guardian,” Stacy said.

“Your _guardian?_ ” The Doctor asked skeptically, his words never skipping a beat.

“Yes my dear sir, you can release her into my care,” Greenlee said as he stepped closer to them. As he did, the dog was brought closer as well, and in response to this, the animal began to bare its teeth and growl.

“I think not,” the Doctor responded as he quickly fished a key from his pocket. “If I do that, who’s to say that you wouldn’t feed her to that beast for breakfast?”

In response to this the man inched even closer and this caused Peri to take a step back. This action made the man smile slightly, as he responded to the Doctor’s inquiry. “Look ‘Fancy Pants, she’s my property and I will get her back in any way I see fit.” As if to add emphasis to these words, he gripped the whip even tighter and cast a leering glance in Peri’s direction.

“Your _property_?” The Doctor asked, neither missing a beat nor bothering to keep the sarcasm out of his voice.

The man said nothing, but instead he watched as the Doctor handed a small object to the older girl and barked out some instructions. “Use this to get inside the TARDIS, and do not come outside until I return.”

“What about Stacy?” Peri asked as she accepted the key.

“She’ll be fine.”

“Will you be okay?” The young woman asked, but still started to back herself away from them and make her way over towards the police box.

“Just go, Peri,” the Doctor instructed.

Once Peri had heeded his instructions, the Doctor looked at Greenlee, his eyes filled with meaning. “Now, you are not in any position to barter for this child, are you?”

When the man did not respond to his words, the Doctor could tell that his intentions had been clear. He was perfectly able and willing to take his companion and use her as a bargaining tool to get the child back. He knew that once he had managed to get Peri out of the area, Greenlee would not be able to use anyone else as leverage to get Stacy back.

The man grunted as he pulled a knife from his overcoat and approached the Doctor. “I don’t need anything like that. If Morton Greenlee wants something, he will take it. You have tangled with the wrong man. I will not go quietly like that bloke with the pocket watch did.”

“I didn’t anticipate you to, Morton,” the Doctor responded coyly as Greenlee jabbed at him with the knife. Stealthily, the Doctor dodged the blade, all the while managing to protect the girl.

“That girl belongs to me, and I will get her back,” Greenlee said as he lurched towards the Doctor for what seemed like the umpteenth time.

Instead of remaining where he had been standing, the Doctor practically picked Stacy up in his arms and started to make his way back towards the door leading into the TARDIS. “While he’s stumbling about, I think we ought to get ourselves out of the area, don’t you?”

Moments later, he reached the door of the police box and unobtrusively slipped quietly inside with her. Once he realized that they were safe, he closed the door leaving anyone who was outside unable to get inside.

~~~~~

It was only after the door was firmly shut and locked did he stop and lower the child to the ground, all the while maintaining a firm grasp on her jacket. “Before you run away, I think we need to have a talk,” he said immediately anticipating her next action. “I know that you may be frightened, but I can promise you that it’s a lot scarier out there than it is in here.”

In lieu of a response, she shook her head, but continued to pull desperately against his hold. “What is this place?”

“For all practical purposes, this is my home,” the Doctor responded. “Now, I do believe that a little chat is in order.”

“Where’s…?” Her voice trailed.

“Peri?” He asked and when the girl nodded he continued. “She went to her room to get some rest. I would think it took a good deal out of her to stand up for you.”

The girl lowered her head. “I didn’t know.”

“Because you were too busy running away,” he said matter-of-factly. “Peri put herself at great risk to help you, and she does deserve some gratitude.”

“Why did she?”

“I don’t know,” he said honestly. “But, perhaps what you can take away from all of this is the knowing that we have no intention of hurting you. This is quite different from what I experienced back in the alleyway.”

“I said I was sorry,” she whispered defensively as loud banging was heard from outside. “What’s that?”

“It sounds like some of your friends are trying to get inside,” he said as he left her side and went over to the console. “I think it might be a good idea to engage the chameleon circuit and get us out of here.”

“How?”

“By moving the TARDIS and disguising it so that your ‘friends’ don’t know what to look for,” he said as he pressed several buttons as the machine began to shift and the engines began to groan. “Find something to hang on to.”

Stacy did as he said and when the TARDIS once more materialized, the Doctor, stepped outside for several moments before returning inside and looking at the girl. “Now then, we should be safe for the time being.”

“I don’t understand,” she whispered.

“I don’t expect you do, but if you want, go and have a look outside,” he said.

“Aren’t you afraid I might run away?” She asked.

“I don’t care if you do. You aren’t in the same area of the city and I don’t imagine you’d feel all that comfortable roaming out there all by yourself.”

Stacy approached the door and when she stepped outside she gasped and rushed back into the console room. “H-how did you do that?”

The Doctor smiled. “What? You’re not running away?”

Stacy raised her head. “I’d be more scared outside than in here,” she confessed.

“Why did you try and run away before?”

“Because, I was scared that you’d hurt me.”

The Doctor reached over and touched her face. “I would never do such a thing. It’s such appalling behavior.” When she cringed from his touch, he took a deep breath. “So, what should I do with you now? I can’t very well take you with me.”

“Why not?”

“One loud, overbearing young girl is enough for anyone,” he said smugly. “Besides, you have to find your way in this world; my presence would only succeed in complicating things.”

“That’s not very nice,” Stacy pouted.

“Perhaps not, but I am not trying to be nice,” he said. “So, are you going to tell me how you ended up caged by this Greenlee character?”

“A year ago, my mum remarried, and my stepfather threw me out…” Her words trailed. She raised her head and looked into the Doctor’s eyes and shrugged her shoulders, the sadness literally encasing her.

“…What about your father?” He asked.

“He’s gone, died when I was three. Mr. Greenlee found me on the streets after I had been tossed out. He said that if I was going to be of any good in the world, I’d have to earn my keep with him.”

“In other words, you have no real home to speak of,” he whispered.

Stacy shook her head. “No, the orphanage said I was too old to be adoptable.”

“How old are you?”

“Thirteen,” she whispered.

“You’ve been on your own for quite some time then, haven’t you?” He asked.

Stacy raised her head but offered feeble nod.

“All right, for the time being, you can stay with us, but I don’t want to hear anything about thievery in here, and no more kicking,” he said. “You promise?”

The girl nodded obediently. “I promise.”

~~~~~

Peri was seated on the bed in her room when there came a knock at the door. Thinking nothing of it, she raised her head from the book she was reading and called out. “Come in.” She figured that her visitor was the Doctor and that he had returned to the TARDIS after the confrontation with the nasty man and his dog.

When the door opened, she noticed that the Doctor was not alone. In fact, her eyes widened when she saw Stacy standing behind him. “What happened?” She asked softly. “I felt a shift earlier, was there an earthquake?”

“No,” the Doctor responded. “I had to engage the chameleon unit and move the TARDIS to a safer location. Some of Stacy’s ‘friends’ were trying to pay us a visit.”

“They aren’t my friends,” the younger girl objected somewhat huffily.

“What shape did the TARDIS take this time?” Peri asked at about the very same instant.

The Doctor looked at Stacy and grinned. “Well, whoever this Greenlee chap is, he won’t think of looking for us here. The TARDIS is now shaped like a small fountain just outside of a large church.”

“How long will we be staying here?” Peri asked as she tossed her book aside.

“That is what we’re here to tell you,” the Doctor responded as he motioned towards a nearby chair and waited for the younger girl to sit down. Once she had seated herself, he looked around for another chair, but finding none, he casually came over and sat down on the edge of the bed before looking at his companion. “We’ll be staying here in London until we find Stacy a safe place to stay.”

“How long will that take?” Peri asked, all the while knowing that if she was going to be stuck in London during the time of Charles Dickens, she would have to find an appropriate outfit to wear. Pants and a t-shirt seemed to stick out like a sore thumb in this day and age, and the last thing she wanted to do was to draw unwanted attention.

Stacy crossed her arms over her chest and looked at Peri affronted. “I thought we were going to be friends.”

“We can be friends,” Peri said defensively. “I didn’t mean anything by my question, Stacy.”

The Doctor took a deep breath as he took note of the expressions that were now on the faces of both his companion and their young guest. Whatever was happening between the two of them, he did not like it. If jealousy was going to become the norm, then he was starting to get the distinct impression that the vastness of the TARDIS would still not be big enough to hold it.

Sighing after several moments had passed; he looked at the two of them, his irritation clearly showing. “Peri,” he spoke his companion’s name meaningfully. “It will take as long as it takes.”

“That means that if I want to go back outside, then I’ll have to find an outfit that would be suitable for it,” she said crossly when she saw the same angry expression on the Doctor’s face that she had seen outside on the street. “I guess I’ll have a lie down before I go out and try and find something appropriate in the wardrobe. That is unless you need to tell me anything else.” Without waiting for either of them to respond, Peri reached for her book and began to flip haphazardly through its pages.

It was clear that the last thing she wanted, or needed, was to contend with him copping his typical attitude with her. She knew that since he was misinterpreting everything she said, there was little point in her trying to rectify things with him. How she hated dealing with his mood swings.

“We’re going to the wardrobe and I’m going to help Stacy pick out something warm and dry to put on,” the Doctor was saying. “Do you want to come along or stay here and get some rest?”

Peri motioned with her hand towards the bed as opposed to making some comment about his abhorrent fashion style. She swallowed whatever words she had intended on speaking and merely watched as the Doctor and Stacy got up and left the room.

Once the door was closed behind them, Peri tossed the book to one side and stared down at her lap. “I refuse to cry,” she whispered under her breath. “I refuse to cry.”

The young woman knew beyond any doubt that it would be a long time before she would trust herself enough to sit down and actually talk with the Doctor about the feelings that their encounter with Stacy had sparked. She believed that she had done the right thing when she tried to defend Stacy back on the street, but after she had been assaulted, she did not anticipate the Doctor getting angry with her.

 _Why is it that the Doctor is so opposed to violence except when it comes to me?_ Peri asked herself. Despite her willing herself not to cry, the tears escaped from beneath her eyes nonetheless. _It feels as though now that he has found someone else to care for, I’m not important anymore. He blames me when she gets upset, but I didn’t do anything to upset her. I just asked a simple question._

The more the young American contemplated this situation, the emptier she was left feeling. She could not understand why it was that Stacy was responding to her in such a negative way, particularly after she had gone out of her way to defend her.

The young woman felt miserable. She was now alone and stuck with all the feelings that she had. Maybe the best thing she could do is grab her suit and go to the pool for a swim. It was a big TARDIS and if anything, she would be able to use some of that ‘alone time’ to sort out her feelings and contend with everything that was happening.

 _I don’t want to stay away from the doctor,_ she thought sadly, _but given the current state of things, it’s probably the only option I have._

She got to her feet and went over to the dresser that was along another corner of her room. Fishing around inside, she found a bathing suit and quickly changed into it. Once she was wearing it, she grabbed a pair of shorts and a t-shirt and pulled them on before leaving the room and closing the door behind her.

Further down the hallway, she passed the wardrobe room, but stopped momentarily as a familiar article of clothing was casually tossed from the room and out into the corridor.

Immediately recognizing it, she bent down to pick it up. Carefully, she brought the item to her nose and inhaled the scent that emanated from it. As she remembered a more pleasant memory, she cradled it close to her chest before breaking into a run to get away from the doorway before the Doctor or Stacy had seen her.

Reaching the room where the pool was, she opened the door and went inside and sat down on the bench. There she unfolded a long-sleeved cricketer’s jumper. The familiar off white with orange stripes along the collar, sleeves and bottom reminded her of the Doctor she had once known and missed terribly.

Hugging it tightly against her chest, she recalled how much she wished to have confided some of her deepest secrets to the Doctor that she had met in Lanzarote. As soon as he had regenerated, she had to accept the fact that that Doctor was now gone and she had to get used to the one who had taken his place. Today, she regretted the fact that she had been too cowardly to have shared her feelings when she had the chance.

As her mind drifted, she recalled the few times when she had embraced the other Doctor and how much comfort she felt whenever he had held her in his arms. The time she particularly remembered had been during the turbulent trip to Androzani.

Sighing, she buried her face against the woolen object and breathed in. As she did, she realized that the fragrance that emanated from it was the distinctive aroma of celery. This reminded her of when he tried to revive her with the celery, which he had worn on his lapel. She remembered only groggily waking to feel the object being pressed gently beneath her nose and causing her to stir while lying helpless on the table in Sharaz Jek’s laboratory.

 _I wish that Doctor was here with me now,_ she thought sadly.

Deep down inside, Peri knew that the Doctor was alive and well, although his physical appearance had drastically changed. Although she still did not fully grasp the process of regeneration, she still wondered if any traces of the Doctor who had saved her life on Androzani was somehow still present in this loud, overbearing egotist. There were still moments when the Doctor’s best qualities were so deeply embedded in this new man that they had completely eluded her.

Still with all those thoughts cursing through her mind and heart, she lived in regret. If only she had trusted herself enough to tell the old Doctor about her painful past, then maybe this regenerated Doctor would at least make some sort of effort to understand her.

She often wondered why she had even stayed with the Doctor after his regeneration when he had attacked her and then tried to strangle her in the console room. It was through that experience alone that she had come to understand how volatile this new Doctor really was.

 _The old Doctor would never have treated me with such disregard,_ she thought sadly. Leaning down she buried her face into the jumper and allowed fresh tears to seep against it.

After several moments, she placed the jumper beneath her towel in order to conceal it from view. She then began to pull off her shirt and shorts and placed them on top of the towel. Finally, she discarded her shoes and walked over to the edge of the pool and dipped one of her feet into the water. Feeling the warmth of the water against her foot, she dove into the water and began to swim the length of the pool.

~~~~~

What Peri had not seen when she had grabbed the off-white jumper from the floor of the corridor was that the Doctor had emerged from the room several seconds later and watched as she tucked it into the towel she carried and darted down the hallway and around the corner with it still in her arms.

He turned back around and noticed that Stacy was still in the wardrobe room and was digging through the racks of clothing. “Did you find anything?” He asked; his question clearly indicative that his thoughts were not on what they were doing, but instead on Peri.

“I think so,” she said as she held up one of the dresses that were draped over her arm.

“Then I’ll take you to your room and you can change,” he said.

Stacy nodded as the Doctor led her out of the wardrobe room and down the corridor in the direction of a small room. He opened the door and they entered. He watched as she dropped the dresses on the bed and began to take in the room.

“This is for me?” She asked.

The Doctor nodded. “Yes. I’ll leave you to change. There’s a lavatory across the hallway and if you need anything else, just let me know.”

“Where are you going?” Stacy asked.

“You need some privacy and I need to tend to a few things, I’ll be back later,” he said as he approached the doorway. “Don’t worry, Stacy, you’ll see me later today.”

With that he stepped back out into the hallway and started to make his way in the direction that he assumed Peri had gone in. He could tell by the way she had been dressed that she was probably heading towards the pool.

He had also known her for a long enough span of time to know what she did when she was not happy. Either she would head into the kitchen and eat a large bowl of ice cream or she would go for a swim. Given that he had seen a towel draped over her arm, he concluded that it was the latter of the two. He wondered if swimming was such a good idea considering that she had been hurt earlier that day by the man with a cane.

Reaching the door, he entered the pool area and noticed immediately the fresh smell of slightly chlorinated water. He rarely went swimming, and often wondered why the TARDIS even had a pool if he really did not need it.

He came through the room and noticed that Peri was in the water and swimming laps. He was not certain as to how many she had done but given the frantic movement of her left arm, he could tell that she was probably still in pain from the confrontation that had taken place earlier that day.

As she reached the end of the pool, she sensed someone’s presence, and she abruptly stopped swimming before making her way over to the edge. Reaching it, she looked up at him. “I thought you were helping Stacy,” she eventually offered, her greeting somewhat stilted. Before waiting for him to answer, she went under the water and came back up with her hair slicked back over her head.

“I was,” he said as he sat down near the edge of the pool. This time, he did not offer his hand to her, he merely waited. The last time he had tried doing that, she had pulled him, fully clothed, into the water and laughed hysterically when he had resurfaced.

He had learned his lesson early on that at times Peri had a mischievous streak. Of course, looking at her now, he could tell that she was not really in the mood for practical jokes.

He watched as she came out of the water and walked over to retrieve her towel. Next, she carefully hid the jumper beneath the clothing before wrapping the towel around herself and coming back over to sit down next to him.

Once she was comfortable, she allowed her feet to dangle in the water. “What are you doing here?” She finally asked.

The Doctor shrugged his shoulders as he clasped his hands together. “I wanted to find out what had gotten in to you.”

“Nothing, I just decided to go for a swim.”

“I thought you were resting,” he said.

“I couldn’t sleep,” she mumbled.

“Did you try?” He asked. “Or did you decide to go for a swim right after Stacy and I left your room?”

“Does it matter?”

“Of course it matters, I wouldn’t be sitting here if it didn’t,” he said as he reached over and touched her shoulder, this time his touch was feather light. “Peri, it’s not always easy for me to say things like this, but I’ve been worried about you.”

“You certainly haven’t shown it,” she said bluntly. “You were pretty mean to me when we were outside.”

“I’ve treated you the way I’ve always treated you,” he responded in the same manner.

“Yes, and that’s the problem,” she said, her voice a fraction louder. “I know we argue a lot, but you’re always getting mad at me about something. You don’t say that you care or are worried, you just bluster around and it makes me feel…” her voice trailed and instead of continuing, she bit down on her lower lip.

“…Makes you feel what?” He asked.

“Forget it,” she got to her feet and went over to the bench where her clothes were lying and instead of picking them up, she retrieved the jumper and stared down at it for several moments. Her heart felt as though it was now beating out of control, and she knew that if she looked at him, that she would do something foolish, like start crying.

The Doctor watched these actions before taking a deep breath and getting to his feet. Once he was standing, he slowly ambled over to her. Reaching out, he touched the woolen fabric of the shirt. “Funny, I thought I threw that out.”

“I bet you did,” she mused.

What’s that supposed to mean?” He asked defensively.

“Nothing,” she responded. “Do you always have to get so defensive?”

“When you answer me like that, what do you expect?”

“Sorry Doctor,” she mumbled. “I like the sweater is all. It sort of reminds me of…happier times.”

“You’re not happy now?” He asked.

“Not really,” she confessed.

The Doctor watched her for several moments. He noticed how she held the jumper in her hands and stroked it lovingly. She had said that his earlier incarnation was ‘sweet’, a word which he loathed. It made him feel weak and incapable of being the Time Lord that he was. He had always rebuked the notion of being ‘sweet’, but there was no denying that there was something in that, which Peri clearly missed and at that moment, appeared to need.

He took a deep breath as he looked into the troubled eyes of his companion. When she said nothing, he decided to take the incentive. “Back on the street, you said that there was something that I wouldn’t understand. Would you tell me what that is?”

Peri lowered herself onto the bench and instead of looking at him; she kept her gaze on the pool. “I’d rather not,” she finally said.

“Why not?”

“I just don’t know if I can,” she said honestly.

The Doctor looked at her and instead of getting angry, he offered a slight nod. “Alright, then we’ll wait until you can.” He paused for a moment before continuing. “I’m sorry I got angry with you, Peri. I was worried when that man assaulted you. I suppose I was more upset with myself because I had not done what I could to protect you.”

She nodded. “It’s okay, Doctor, I guess I sort of knew that, but it’s nice to hear you say it anyway.”

“Friends?” He asked smiling hopefully at her.

“Yeah, friends,” she said as she embraced him. Backing away from him, she motioned towards the jumper that was still resting in her lap. “Can I keep this though?”

“That old thing?” He asked, but when he saw her hopeful face, he smiled and nodded. “I suppose, if you must.”

She smiled gratefully but opted to changing the subject. “Doctor, I wasn’t trying to get rid of Stacy; I was trying to figure out what I was going to wear while we’re stuck in Victorian England.”

“I can help you with that,” he said.

“Thanks but no thanks,” she grinned at him.

“Okay, you had your chance,” he responded with the same smugness that she had grown used to.

~~~~~

The week passed slowly for the three of them. Peri managed to resolve her conflict with Stacy and the two of them began to behave in a more tolerable manner with one another. It was far from perfect, but the Doctor was grateful that at least he did not have to seek permanent asylum inside the neighboring church.

Each morning, the three friends headed out to see if they could find adequate accommodations for Stacy. After several days with no luck, the Doctor was starting to wonder if they would ultimately have to take her with them.

On the fourth day, they encountered a local minister who helped run an orphanage for older and troubled children. It seemed the ideal circumstance for Stacy, but after the Doctor had brought the girl in for an interview, she began to behave strangely and the minister had very little choice but to reject her. After the interview had ended, the Doctor and the teenager had returned to the TARDIS and he related the events to Peri.

Peri understood the behavior far too well, but instead of telling the Doctor about her suspicions, she opted to staying silent. She had done the very same things back when she was younger and knew that the Doctor would either read straight through her, or he would accuse her of acting out of jealousy and spite. While she and the Doctor had discussed several things at the pool, the subject of Stacy’s psychology was conveniently shoved aside. By doing that, Peri was able to avoid having to discuss her turbulent past.

Stacy’s presence had proven to be a constant reminder to Peri about the things in her life that she had strived for so long to forget. She was now facing these things head on, and each time they came up, the young American tried to shove them to the back of her mind. 

These attempts had proven futile because her mind would not forget. This began to emerge when she would go to sleep at night.

At first her experiences were nothing more than passing dreams. They were not too terribly frightening and she always seemed to find a way to fight them off. As the week progressed, the dreams would become even scarier. Many of them were centered on the Doctor after his regeneration and his actions in the console room. Others went back even further in her life and subjected Peri to abuse and other forms of humiliation.

As a result of these dreams, Peri would often awaken with tears streaming down her cheeks and her heartbeat literally racing. She tried to conceal this by lying awake at night and not telling anyone that she was unable to sleep because of unsettling dreams. The consequences of this left her emotionally and mentally exhausted. Instead of telling anyone of her troubles, she decided to try several strange techniques as a means of inducing sleep. This only left her reliving the things that she thought had been either forgotten or resolved.

Instead of contending with the painful recollections the dreams were bringing her, Peri was starting to feel fearful around the Doctor. It had gotten to the point that she would do whatever she could to avoid him and if he touched her, she recoiled. His presence had started to do a number on her, and she realized that the night terrors were not the only things that were getting to her, but the day to day reality of her life was becoming too much to bear.

She hated what was happening to her, and she wondered if the Doctor had even noticed her strange behavior. In desperation, she began reading books about psychology and dream analysis instead of Botany. She spent her days holed away in either her room or in the Doctor’s library trying everything she could to remedy what this was doing to her.

The day that Stacy left the TARDIS for the last time had been a strange day for Peri. The Doctor had come to her room that morning and asked her if she would be willing to spend some time with the teenager while he took care of some repairs. Peri was not quite certain as to what the Doctor was repairing, but to keep things civil, she reluctantly agreed.

The Doctor was gone the entire day and when he returned, it was to tell Stacy that he had arranged a place for her to stay. He had, in essence, lied about the repairs and instead used the time alone to sneak away and speak with another member of the clergy about Stacy.

Upon his return, he explained to both Peri and Stacy that an elderly couple on the outskirts of London were in need of help and had sought it through the church. The parish priest who made all the arrangements had heard all about Morton Greenlee and his ilk. He and the Doctor both agreed that their best option was to get the girl away from the heart of the city and into a low-profile area on the outskirts.

Although the news had strongly upset Stacy, it came as a great relief to Peri.

Later, after they had brought Stacy to the priest’s parish, they both said their good-byes to her and Peri and the Doctor returned to the TARDIS. After the doors had closed and the Doctor began fiddling with the controls, he went into greater detail about what had transpired during the time he had left Stacy in Peri’s care.

Throughout all of these events, Peri discovered that their lives had become rather paralleled to a Dickens’ novel. When she mentioned this to the Doctor, his response was typical.

“Truth is sometimes stranger than fiction,” he said.

That night, they left London and the sound of the TARDIS dematerializing was one the most welcomed sounds that Peri had heard in a very long time. As soon as they had entered to the time vortex, she realized just how tired she was and headed towards the door leading out into the corridor and back to her room.

“Goodnight, Doctor,” she said as she took her leave.

“Goodnight, Peri,” he said. “Pleasant dreams.”

Upon leaving, the only thought that went through her mind was a simple question. Would her dreams be pleasant tonight, or would she wake completely drenched in sweat all over again?

~~~~~

Several hours after Peri had said ‘goodnight’ to him, the Doctor was making his way down the corridor outside of his companion’s room. As he started to walk past the door, he stopped suddenly when he noticed that the door was ajar and a recording of waves crashing along a shoreline was audibly detectable.

These were not the sounds he expected to hear and so he stopped for a moment and listened as the splashing water suddenly stopped. He could then hear what sounded like a tape recorder being shut off, a tape being turned over, and the play button being pressed. As the sounds of the waves started up again, he peered around the doorframe.

“Peri?” He spoke her name.

“I’m awake,” she whispered as she sat up in bed and turned on the bedside lamp. “You can come in.”

The Doctor inched his way around her door and entered the room. The first thing he noticed was a book on her lap. After further observation, he could see a small tape recorder next to the lamp on the bedside table. “I thought you were going to sleep.”

The young American raised her head and offered him a watery smile. “I tried.”

“Is that what this contraption is; an attempt at falling asleep?” He asked.

She nodded as she reached over and turned off the player. “A lot of good it did. I’ve been sitting here listening to it for the last four hours.”

“In other words, you’re having trouble sleeping,” he said.

“I have too much on my mind.”

“It is my experience that sleep deprivation has a great deal to do with stress,” he said matter-of-factly. “These past few days have been quite stressful for both of us, haven’t they?”

“Yeah,” she mused.

“Do you mind if I sit down?” He asked motioning toward the chair that was in front of the desk on the other side of the room.

“Be my guest,” she said as she watched him grab the chair and drag it over to where she was seated on the bed.

Once he sat down, he crossed his arms over his chest and waited. When she did not say anything, he took an impatient breath. “What’s the matter, Peri?” He finally asked growing tired of the prolonged silence.

She lowered her head and stared down at her lap. “It’s nothing, Doctor, I’m fine.”

“It’s not ‘nothing’,” he responded. “You’re clearly not sleeping, your eyes look dull and lifeless, and you seem to be on the verge of a breakdown.”

“You wouldn’t understand,” she tried again.

“Try me.”

She raised her head for a moment and looked into a pair of concerned eyes. For a split second, she wondered if she had just seen her old Doctor in that piercing gaze. “I’m just remembering things. Things I thought I had forgotten, but they came back and are kind of scary.”

“Scary?” He repeated the word. “Why are you scared?”

“I don’t know,” she whispered.

“I think you do. You just don’t want to tell me, do you?” When she said nothing in response to his words, he continued, his voice breaking into the thoughts that were wrecking havoc on her. “I think it might help if you stop worrying about how I might react and just tell me.”

“How can I do that?” She asked. “If I say anything to you that you don’t like, you tell me that I’m acting foolish or inane. I can’t talk to you, not like…”

“…Before,” the Doctor finished for her. When she did not respond, he took the incentive. “Is this just about my regeneration?”

She looked down at the jumper and shrugged her shoulders. After several moments of silence had passed between them, she found her voice and spoke, her words now laced in regret. “I blamed myself for it.”

“That’s irrational,” he interjected.

“No, it isn’t,” she countered. “If not for me, he’d still be here. I was the one who fell into the spectrox nest.”

“And I was the one who spilt half of the bat’s milk,” he responded, his voice considerably softer. Upon hearing these words, Peri raised her head and for the first time in days, he was able to see the pain that was still evident in her eyes. He reached over and rested his hand on her shoulder. “I know you miss the man I once was and you wish he was here.”

“You can’t change back, can you?”

“No, I can’t,” he said. “I am who I am, and I have to accept that. I can’t just force regeneration just because you don’t like the reflection of who you see.” As he was speaking, he leaned over and brushed a gentle hand against her cheek. When he felt the tears that were streaming freely from her eyes, he took a deep breath. “You must try and let go of the guilt, though.”

“How can I do that?”

“Consider the fact that although I’ve changed and I do look differently than you remember, I’m still me. I’m still the Doctor. There’s no reason for you to feel guilt about that,” he said. “I can’t apologize for being the way I am anymore than you can for feeling vulnerable and afraid at times.”

“I never expected you to,” she whispered.

“At first you did,” he said. “I do know you rather well, Perpugilliam Brown.”

“Because you’re my friend,” she said.

“Yes and because contrary to all these foolish notions you might have about me, I do care for you.”

“I wasn’t sure you did.”

“Of course I do, but I can only do so much,” he said. “If you want to resolve this, then you need to trust me enough to tell me what’s going on.”

As he was speaking, she nodded but covered her face with her hands. “I thought it would be okay,” her muffled words emerged.

“You thought what would be okay?” He asked.

“Everything,” she whispered. “I thought after Stacy left, my nightmares would go away.”

“What nightmares?” He asked as he leaned over and took both of her hands in his and lowered them from her face so that he could look into her eyes. With one of her hands still in his, he pressed it gently between both of his. “When did they start?”

“About a week ago.”

“In other words, right after we met Stacy. And you didn’t see fit to tell me about them?”

“I was afraid you’d think I was jealous of her.”

“Was that the reason you were holing yourself up in here reading these boring psychology books?” He asked.

“How’d you know?” She asked weakly.

“Because I know you,” he said. “We’ve been traveling together for quite some time now, and after spending time around you, I noticed things about you that were distinctly out of character. You became increasingly withdrawn and you stopped being so argumentative. It was pretty obvious that you didn’t want to talk about how you felt,” he said. “But I can understand why. I didn’t say anything to you about it, but I was fully aware of what Stacy was up to and I think you were as well.”

“You knew what she was doing?”

Nodding, he offered one of his typical smirks. “I detected how she would try and push you out of the picture. I saw it from day one. Then there was that incident when she spoke to the minister from the orphanage. I noticed that she started acting strangely to make certain that she would get rejected so that she could stay with us. Earlier today, I asked you to spend time with her. I figured that it would be the perfect opportunity for me to get out of here and talk to someone who could help her. I realized early on that neither of us could, but maybe there was someone from her world and time that could. So, I set out to find them.”

“I don’t believe it,” Peri said hotly. “I was walking on egg shells because I was afraid that you would accuse me of being jealous. You knew all along, that’s so unfair.” As if by impulse alone, she punched his arm in frustration.

“Hey, that was uncalled for,” he objected as he rubbed the spot where she had hit him. “Yes, I knew, but you weren’t talking to me about it, remember? You were avoiding me.”

“Okay, you win,” she grumbled.

“Naturally,” He said with an overconfident air in his voice. “You don’t think those psychology books are only in my library to look good, do you? I do my share of reading as well. Anyway, sometimes I make note of things that I never even mention. Just because I don’t tell you about them, doesn’t mean I’m clueless.”

“I wasn’t saying that,” Peri argued. “You just kept accusing me of stuff.”

“No I didn’t, I came and talked to you at the pool. Just because you didn’t tell me what your suspicions were doesn’t mean that it’s my fault.”

“But, you kept making me feel stupid,” Peri whined.

“I don’t make you feel stupid, Peri, it’s your choice, it has always been your choice,” he said bluntly. “I say what I think, and how you interpret it is your problem, not mine.”

“When we were at the pool I mentioned what happened after that guy hit me. You got mad at me about it and I ended up feeling…”

“…Silly?”

“Worse than ‘silly’,” she confessed. “I felt defenseless and frightened. It was like that day in the console room when you…” Her voice trailed off and she shook her head.

The Doctor got to his feet and moved from the chair to the edge of the bed before silently resting a comforting hand on her shoulder.

At that moment, she raised her head as the tears spilled down over her cheeks. “…I’m trying really hard to forget about all that, but I can’t.”

“I don’t expect you to forget, Peri,” he said weakly. “Just stop blaming yourself for it. It was never your fault; it was mine.”

“But, I can’t help it,” she whispered. “I keep thinking that remembering it would just make you angry. It’s like…like the only reason for my doing it is to make you feel bad or something. Then you resent me for feeling the way I feel about it and...” her voice broke.

The Doctor closed his eyes and lowered his head as he ran his free hand through his blond curls. “Do you want me to make you forget?”

“Forget what happened?” She asked.

“No, forget it all, even meeting me,” he said. “I could erase your memories and take you home.”

“No!” She cried out, her voice much louder than she anticipated. “I’d rather have the memories, even the bad ones, than to forget you. You’re...” Her voice broke again and she felt fresh tears in her eyes.

“…I’m?”

“My best friend,” she admitted.

“Then making you forget would not be an option.”

Peri shook her head sadly. “I’ll deal with the dreams; just don’t take away my time here. It’s the only time in my life that I really felt like I was doing something right.” As she spoke, she tried to wipe the tears away, but they persisted and she ended up using the sleeve of her nightgown to blot her eyes.

“I won’t do that to you,” he promised. “You have my word.”

Peri took a deep breath as she looked at him. For the first time since his regeneration, she saw something besides a man in a gaudy looking mismatched coat, and frizzy unkempt hair. What she saw was a friend. She glanced briefly towards the jumper that was still balled up next to her pillow before looking at him. He was still sitting there, his eyes now half closed and his mouth turned slightly downwards in an expression of contemplation.

Peri knew at that moment that he was her Doctor and she owed him the truth, all of it. He was willing to allow her to decide her fate and choose what words needed to be said. She raised her head and looked into his eyes.

“I’m sorry, Doctor,” she whispered. As these words filled his ears, she allowed her body to collapse up against him, her hand releasing his so that she could wrap her arms around him. There, she allowed herself to cry.

Wordlessly, he gathered her in his arms and held her. Leaning down, he kissed the top of her head. “Just let it all out, then you’ll be able to sleep,” he whispered to her.

Several moments passed as Peri allowed herself to cry and once she had cried herself dry, she opened her eyes to see that his coat was damp with the marks of her tears.

“Do you feel any better now?” He asked.

She nodded. “Yeah, but there’s something else that I want to tell you.”

“What is that?” He asked.

“It has to do with a promise I made,” she whispered.


End file.
